On the Lighter Side – 2012
After being married 25 years, a man looked at his wife one day and said, “You know, 25 years ago we lived in a cheap apartment, drove a cheap car, had only a sofa bed and watched a 14-inch black and white television. But, every night I got to sleep with a hot 25-year-old blonde.
“Now,” he continued, “We have a nice house, a new car, a big flat-screen TV, but I have to sleep with a 50-year-old woman. It doesn’t seem fair.”
A reasonable woman, his wife replies “Well, why don’t you go out and get yourself a hot 25-year-old blonde? Then I’ll make sure you will once again live in a cheap apartment, drive a cheap car, have only a sofa bed and watch a 14-inch black and white television!”
Three people were arguing about what profession was used first in the Bible.
The surgeon says, “The medical profession was used first when God took a rib from Adam and made Eve.”
The engineer says, “No, engineering was used first. Just think of the engineering job it took to create the world out of chaos.”
The politician says, “You would have nothing if we didn’t create chaos in the beginning!”
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and had proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class.
The instructor asks, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”
A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?”