On the Lighter Side – 2009

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A duck walked in the store and said, “Give me some lipstick, just put it on my bill.”

The first mailman said, “This morning a dog bit me,” and the second mailman said, “Did you put anything on it?” The first mailman said, “No, he liked it plain.”

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Summer.
Summer who?
Summer scared, some are not.

A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, “Get out of here with that dog!”
The guy says, “But this isn’t just any dog…this dog can play the piano!”
The bartender replies, “Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay and have a drink on the house!”
So the guy sits the dog at the piano, and the dog starts playing ragtime, a little swing and some Gershwin. The bartender is amazed and patrons are enjoying the music.
Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck and drags him out. The bartender asks the guy, “What was that all about?”
The guy replies, “Oh, that was his mother. She wants him to be a doctor.”

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